Things I dislike

Because sometimes I get asked

By Max ToperAug. 28, 2022 171  7 min read Life Style  

Occasionally I am given a questionnaire for an event inquiring as to what I like and dislike. Or perhaps somebody pops the question when making small talk as they try to get to know me better. To spare me the trouble of ever going blank when this occurs I have decided to write two separate blog posts about my likes and dislikes.

This post, is of course, about my dislikes. At some point, I will post about my likes as a pallet cleanser.


  1. Drill rap. One line of lyrics in a drill rap song is, and I quote: "...So she ate my dick like a fish stick." Need I say more?
  2. Roadmen. No, not men who do roadworks. Scruffy kids, teenagers, (and yes sometimes adults but it's mostly teens and impressionable tweens,) who dress like thugs, listen to drill rap, and eat a diet consisting of purely fast food. Dear all roadmen, yelling, "Wot u looking at blud," at the top of your lungs screams, "Hello I am incredibly unintelligent and will likely die from diabetic shock by the age of twenty-five... if I make it even that far."
  3. People who drive at a million miles an hour through residential and high streets. Since you seem to be in such a rush I'm sure you would understand if some other stranger drove at the same speed and turned you into roadkill the next time you try crossing the street to buy some milk.
  4. Strangers who lecture me about their political opinions while I'm going about my business. To that waiter lecturing me on why my bank is the literal devil destroying the planet because some oil company owns a share in it: I don't care, I'm trying to pay for my food.
  5. Ungrateful twits. On one of my shifts when I worked at a supermarket some idiot told me I had no idea what I was doing when I led him to the exact product he was asking for because... get this... I didn't use the same name for it he did. Listen, sir, I don't know what you call it in upper-middle-class suburbia, but it's a mini pizza to me. Next time just say thank you.
  6. People who throw a temper tantrum when the one lady working her hardest and holding down the fort in WH Smith doesn't immediately come over to help you. Spoiler alert, acting like a child will not make the service faster.
  7. Spam mail. I'm not interested in giving my hard-earned cash to some nonexistent individual who supposedly is my long-lost relative residing in Africa, thank you for your understanding.
  8. Flies. The more you obnoxiously buzz around and try landing on my food, the slower and more painful your death will be when I inevitably catch up to you.
  9. Wasps. Stop trying to sting me.
  10. Irresponsible dog owners. I don't care how cute your little fluff ball is, it's trying to claw at my legs.
  11. "Oh my god, I haven't seen you in such a long time! Let's stand in everyone's way." Go find somewhere else to stand that isn't in everyone's way. There is a bench right there, use your eyeballs.
  12. Small yappy dogs. They're not cute, they're annoying and have short man syndrome.
  13. Cyclists who can't be arsed to slow down for pedestrians and cars. Or who think they can somehow pedal faster than a car.
  14. People on motorbikes and mopeds who blare their engines as loud as possible for attention. Sometimes you will see these blights on our civilization in groups, causing a nuisance together as friends.
  15. Extinction Rebellion... do any of these people have actual jobs? Or do they just block ambulances and worship Greta Thunberg all day long?
  16. Animal rebellion. Same reasons as above. But seriously, I want my burger and shake, I don't care for your opinion on how cute little baby chickens are.
  17. Idiots who are purposefully as loud as possible.
  18. Rude individuals who are rude purely to spite others. We've all run into them, I needn't say more.
  19. The cult of sentimentality. These people might sympathize with say, a roadman for any number of reasons, IE. having a rough background. For one thing, roadmen come from all different types of backgrounds, it's a cultural trend not determined by wealth or socioeconomic background. For another, I can empathize with someone for any number of reasons, but I will not sympathize with someone who is acting like a wannabe thug. Nor will I sympathize with someone who has done something objectively wrong.
  20. People who pay in pennies. Ever heard of contactless? Or those machines that add up your pennies and exchange them for pound coins and notes?
  21. People who base their whole personality around a trend, piece of media, or the way they dress. I am ashamed to have once known someone in his twenties who wears a LEGO Ninjago costume out in public. I can assure you, he was and probably still is absolutely insufferable.
  22. People who don't want to be treated in an infantile way, but are into children's media they're too old for. These individuals usually act in an infantile way to boot.
  23. Parents who can't be bothered to watch their young children. Get off your phone and watch your kid because he's about to run into the road and get knocked over.
  24. Fellow passengers on public transport who talk loudly enough so you can hear all about their pointless lives.
  25. Social justice crusaders who get offended by absolutely everything. If you declare me "racist, sexist, transphobic, offensive, ableist, and bigoted," every time I open my mouth or write something, then how in the world am I supposed to have a normal conversation with you? How do you even get through a normal day without having some sort of breakdown?
  26. Those who willingly engage in a political conversation with me and then cannot agree to disagree/refuse to find any middle ground whatsoever.
  27. Some self-proclaimed "radical person changing the world!" That really takes the word ego to the next level, doesn't it?
  28. Sudden "geopolitical experts" who watched a biased twenty-second video about a complicated decades-long conflict/issue on -insert social media platform here-
  29. Snake oil salesmen/women/people/folks. No, I do not want to try whatever alternative medicine or diet you whipped up in your deceased uncle Charlie's basement.
  30. "Tech folks" who mostly congregate on discord. (We used to call them bros but the word bros is now offensive because it sounds sexist to a vocal minority of people.) You are not cool, unique, or hip because you're using Arch Linux or some other obscure piece of software, hardware, or Linux distro. And no, you do not have the right to sling mud at someone for not knowing some specific thing about technology. IT is a massive, constantly evolving field, and you cannot possibly know everything about it, grow up.
  31. Adults on discord who try molding impressionable teenagers into mini versions of themselves. You know who you are.
  32. Much of today's youth culture, and how it typically revolves around being degenerate and nihilistic. Please keep your self-diagnosed mental health conditions to yourself and away from the public eye. And no, looting shops and treating random people you've just met with disrespect is never cool. Nor is drinking yourself half to death in some club for clout on Instagram.
  33. Snapchat and Tiktok. Much of the content on those platforms reminds me of the movie idiocracy. One quick browse through either medium reveals scandly-clad young women doing erotic dances. You will also find stupid prank videos, some of which involved going up to random strangers in the street and spitting in their faces. Or opening a tub of ice cream in a supermarket, licking it, and then resealing it for some poor fool to purchase and take home with them.
  34. People who lead you on and don't simply tell you what they actually want or how they feel. Then ghost you once they decide you're no longer needed or not who they were looking for.
  35. Attention seekers who jump on bandwagons. These losers seldom believe in what they join up with, it's all about the power and attention they get from it. The kids call that grifting, and it is not uncommon for companies and organizations to join in with this practice.
  36. Commercials have little to do with the product they're selling or the holiday they're advertising on. For example, that one John Lewis Christmas advert about an alien. That particular commercial had nothing to do with Christ or Christmas, so how can they possibly call it a Christmas advert?
  37. Companies that change their language in an effort to be more personable. "Woah, hey hey there! We're so happy to welcome you to our happy fun time, fun, fun, fun with our -insert brand name or product here- family. Just look at all the pretty colours to see how inclusive, happy and friendly we are!
  38. Post-modern art. Its point is to be meaningless. But if something is meaningless and devoid of purpose then it objectively has no point or purpose at all.
  39. Modernity. Bright colours and rainbows do not hide the inherent ugliness in a dull tall glass and lifeless concrete structure.
  40. Forced "diversity." People should be treated as individuals and not bought into something because of a superficial characteristic that no sane person would focus heavily on.

Hopefully, this list of my dislikes has been helpful in getting to know me better... Now I have to come up with forty things I actually like for next time.